On Brushing Hair

This morning I woke up quite tired from a restless night's sleep, and wasn't in the greatest of moods to start with. Then I came upon THIS lovely article online.

It is a Cafe Mom article written in judgement of an AP blogger who goes by Nothing By The Book.

Allow me to explain what is going on here. The original article by Nothing By The Book is about how she will not brush her children's hair if they tell her no. She respects that it's their body and that they should have control over it. It's simply hair: an attachment to their head that-in my words, not hers-society puts waaaaaaaay too much stock into. It's a lovely read if you're interested, you can find it HERE.

The article on The Stir delves right in about judging the mother for being very over the top:

"Oh. My. Word. Have you heard about the mom who refuses to brush her kids' hair unless the kids want it brushed?"

 It is followed by the author explaining that she is all for teaching her daughter that her body is her own, but will absolutely force her to brush her hair, even bragging about forcing her child to sit still for 17 minutes simply for the sake of brushing because

"-I'm her parent, I'm not sexually abusing her by brushing her hair, and some things are non-negotiable."

Alrighty. Clearly you only skimmed the blog. Let me expound by quoting an  excerpt:

 "Their wild, messy hair? Part of the lesson that they’re learning that no one—not me, not nice Mr. Jones down the street, not that creepy dude in the park, and not their first, over-eager boyfriend—has a right to do anything to their bodies that they don’t want them to do.

This is a lesson our children need to learn, repeatedly, while they are close enough to us that they will learn it, hear it.

But we don’t teach it with words. We don’t teach it with scary lectures or with fear.

We teach with how we treat their bodies. From their nose to their toes, and all the parts in-between."

We do not teach with words, we teach with how we, as their parents, treat their bodies.

You can tell your daughter or son that they are the only ones with rights to their bodies until you're blue in the face. If what you say is "Only you have rights." but what you DO shouts "You only have rights until I disagree, then your rights are gone while I do as I wish because I'm the boss of you." you are sending a horribly mixed message.

"Come on! Kids don't like everything we attempt to do to them, but that doesn't mean you give in."

Yes. It does. Unless someone's life is in danger don't do something to them. Do something for or with them Or if they ask for help for example, brushing their hair, then help. Don't tell a child, "Yes, this is your body no one has the right to touch you anywhere you don't want them to. Sit back down! I need to finish brushing your hair. I don't care if it hurts, do what I told you to do!"

Teaching your kids about personal hygiene and how to complete hygiene tasks followed by allowing them to see you performing these tasks each day is how children learn what is important. Not by telling them to do it and forcing them to comply no matter what else is said or done. It's not your body, it's not your choice. Show them the good path and remind them often. Don't shove them down it and lock the gate behind them.

*sigh* I have so much more to say but Tiny Hunter is asleep in my arms which makes typing very ridiculous. Leave your comments below, and follow us on Facebook.