Today, I am Selfish.

I'm sure that I'll get some interesting comments for this post. But I'll live.

Today, I am selfish. I know that I promised to get the house clean: for the hundredth time. I know that each minute I spend typing this or reading the newest breastfeeding  article or searching for an acre of land under $2000 is a minute I could be cleaning.

Here's my "problem" though: Tiny Hunter is asleep in my lap. He was in my Mei Tei while I did dishes, but he started sucking on my shoulders so naturally I took him out and fed him. As he nursed he played with my hair, grabbed my glasses, my nose, my lips, and pretty much anything else he could reach. He smiled at me while slowly falling asleep. I attempted to dislodge his tiny fingers from my hair, but he kept half waking up and fussing, followed by a smile and then nursing back to sleep. So he is now snuggled peacefully on my shoulder, drooling down the full length of my shirt, pulling on this chunk of hair each time he gets jostled.

So for today, I am selfish. I am breathing in the scent of my little one instead of the odor of dish soap. I am holding him as close to me as I can with tears in my eyes as I type this because I am thinking of how much I truly love this tiny human in my arms; instead of putting him in his swing so I can finally pick up he diapers/cloths/toys all over the living room. I am rubbing my cheek across his velvety baby hair instead of my vacuum across the floor. I'm running my hands over his warm back instead of diaper material through my sewing machine.

And with all of this, I am content.
I am in love with someone whom I do not yet know, and yet try so hard to understand.
When he cries in the car, I cry. (I then also pull over no matter where I am or where I have to be and sit in back with him until he is ready to go on. Future blog on that.)
When he giggles with pure joy, I giggle.
I accept more each day that my son is more important than most anything else in life, so I am doing my best to provide for him to the best of my ability, as is his father.

Hello.
Welcome to The Crunch Hunt. I am The Huntress, a 20 year old mom who fell into the land of "Crunch" shortly after finding out about being pregnant with my soon to be 5 month old son, Tiny Hunter. This blog will catalog my journey through being a first-time mom who was raised in an authoritarian, military style house but is trying to do better for my little now that I know better. The Great Hunter is my partner in life, he was raised very much the same as I, but is extremely open to reading and learning with me as we grow.

I hope to be open here and take all the criticism as well as love that comes with the territory. You may not always agree with me, and I hope you'll tell me when you don't as well as WHY so that I might learn to better respect your view.

Thanks for joining me, and enjoy your own Crunch Hunt.